5 Tips for Writing Your Own Wedding Vows


Traditional wedding vows are becoming a thing of the past. Many couples are choosing to write their own vows, which makes the ceremony so much more personal! 

This decision is definitely one you have to make together. Wedding days are already nerve-wracking! Writing and speaking your own vows in front of your guests can add an extra layer of anxiety, so make sure you’re both on the same page. If you do decide to take the plunge and write your own wedding vows, here are a few tips:

Write a first draft, and then a second – 

Get all of your ideas down on paper. Your first draft doesn’t even have to be complete; it can just be a list of points you know you want to make. You can fill in the gaps in your second draft.  Don’t stress if it doesn’t flow well. Drafts are supposed to be bad. They exist simply to get your ideas out, and then you can polish them into your finished product.

One tip…don’t read them off your phone! I recommend using a little book for each of you to read out of on the day of. It’s not only a wonderful detail to photograph but it’s a good way to keep them forever in a safe spot!

Keep it short and sweet –

When it comes to vows, simplicity is key. Emotions are guaranteed to be running high for both of you, so the shorter your vows are, the easier it will be to get through them. In my experience, two minutes is plenty when it comes to vows. Say what you need to say, and say it well.

Don’t be afraid to be cheesy –

Obviously, don’t make all of your vows into jokes, but don’t be afraid to go for the laughter, even if it’s just the two of you laughing. Making your partner or your guests laugh could give you some much needed comic relief and ease your nerves. Plus, from a photographer’s point of view, photos of the two of you laughing at the altar are always amazing.

Don’t wait until the last minute –

Guys, I’m talking to you. Don’t wait until the day of, or even the day before, to write your wedding vows. When you’re standing up there, you want to feel confident in every word you’re saying. Being prepared and well-rehearsed will significantly increase your confidence. I’m not saying you won’t be nervous, that’s natural, BUT you will feel good about what you’re saying if you’re prepared.

Pretend like you’re the only two people in the room –

Yes, there could be 200 people watching you, but write your vows as if you’re just talking to your person. It’s a cheesy line, but “pretend like you’re the only ones in the room” is solid vow writing advice. You can get personal without adding too much detail; maybe even throw in a few inside jokes only your partner would understand. Vows don’t have to be the serious prose you’re used to hearing. They can just be you telling your partner why you love them, and how excited you are to spend your life with them.

Modern wedding vows can be whatever you want them to be, and that’s what makes the ceremony personal! Your wedding day is all about you and your future spouse, so have some fun with it and make it a day neither of you will ever forget. Happy writing!   

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